This year I will be a bit sneaky with my due diligence. I plan to stomp on my client’s feet, as a subtle distraction, whilst simultaneously pricking their fingers with one of those diabetes pens to collect their DNA. Now, I’ll make sure to inform the client prior to their meeting to bring in at least one or all their dependents with them to the meeting.
I’ll offer the dependent/relative aoemthing to drink and as they are leaving, I’ll collect their DNA sample by placing the cup they drank from into a sterilized plastic baggie cleverly marked, “DNA sample”. I’ll have Danny Reagan meet me outside the building as the clients are exiting the parking lot so he can transport the sample to the crime lab, to protect and maintain the chain of custody.
Of course I will await the lab results to ensure the DNA samples have within 50% of the genome, indicating a match of parent and child. If the samples don’t match, I’ll turn in the case to either CI or the local authorities; whoever answers the call first. Upon verifying the validity of the DNA match, I will carefully hit the Efile button only after I have run a complete background check on the client to certify the information they provided me on their family, occupation, last seven residences, and Facebook status is a match.
This is only after I’ve interviewed their friends, neighbors, co-workers, probabtion officers, life guards, PTA presidents, etc. But, I won’t charge any extra, it is worth it to me to know I’ve done what it takes to ensure the validity of the return.